A harsh folk saying from ancient China goes, “it is better to marry a widow than a divorced woman,” or Ning qu gua fu, bu qu sheng qi in Chinese.
The expression reflects the rigid and often brutal moral standards that historically governed women’s lives.
Literally, the phrase suggests that a man would rather marry a widow than a woman who had been cast off by her husband.
The term sheng qi referred to a wife who was still alive but had been dismissed, implying that she was at fault or carried disgrace.
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In ancient China, women had a low social status and were expected to strictly follow Confucian principles, particularly the “Three Obedience and Four Virtues”.
According to Three Obediences, the woman must obey her father before marriage, her husband during marriage, and her son after her husband’s death.
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The four virtues emphasised morality, proper speech, modest appearance and domestic skills.
