To drink or not to drink – China Derung ethnic minority uses tea in marriage proposal

China’s Derung ethnic minority uses a single cup of tea to convey acceptance or rejection when it comes to a proposal of marriage.

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This unique ritual takes place during the “Saying the Marriage” custom, or Shuohun in Chinese.

It is practised by the Derung ethnic group, whose population is around 7,000 and which primarily lives in the Derung River Valley of Gongshan Derung-Nu Autonomous County in Yunnan province, southwestern China.

Two ethnic Derung women relax beneath a tree in their village in southwestern China. Photo: Handout
Two ethnic Derung women relax beneath a tree in their village in southwestern China. Photo: Handout

They speak the Derung language, one of the Sino-Tibetan languages.

The process begins when a man expresses interest in a woman or when a couple has already exchanged tokens of affection.

To formalise the relationship, the groom-to-be must enlist a male matchmaker, always a well-respected married man from the village, to deliver the proposal on his behalf.

A quartet of ethnic Derung women performs alongside their male counterparts. Photo: Handout
A quartet of ethnic Derung women performs alongside their male counterparts. Photo: Handout

Once the matchmaker accepts the task, he visits the prospective bride’s home carrying a distinctive toolkit: a teapot, a tea mug, a bag of tea leaves and cigarettes.

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